I write about popular culture, politics, and mental health with a particular focus on women. I'm the author of five books, including "Real Artists Have Day Jobs" (William Morrow 2016).
When They Leave
When we look at a mountain we see one face of it, and even if we wake up and gaze at that same mountain every single morning of our lives, we do not see its wholeness. We can hike it, fly over it, traverse its circumference a thousand times and still we won’t see its entirety, every layer, every element, every atom. To know a mountain, or a person, is to see a whole being in its fullness at all times in all seasons — every mood, every moment. If there is a God, this is what God sees. But we a...
The Lower Brain: Too Shy
When I was in high school I struggled with being too shy to talk to women. Even when I had girlfriends, I was scared to make the first move, hold their hand, or show them affection in public for fear of overwhelming them or being rejected.
In my 20’s I overcompensated and only years later learned that I could be all too available and very overbearing. Now in my 30’s I’m struggling to find the balance. I’ve learned from my mistakes of, “I’M FREE! I CAN HANG OUT WITH YOU TONIGHT!” or when she’s...
The Lower Brain: So, So Sorry
How do you truly apologize when you’ve really hurt a friend? How do you act, beyond apologizing, if you want to make it better? What if it doesn’t get better? I am genuinely, deeply, profoundly sorry. I’ve told the person profusely. I’ve backed off. But I miss my friend terribly and I don’t know what to do. I’d like to open up a dialogue but I don’t know what’s appropriate. I want this pain to go away, but I know that it’s not about me. It’s about the other person, and my actions towards them...
The Lower Brain: She’s Just Not That Into You
Is there a non-shitty way to tell someone in a relationship that they should see other people, namely me? I have a friend I’ve had feelings for many years now and we kind of addressed this once before–she was in a failing marriage then and I told her how I felt, and she jumped out of that swift divorce into the relationship she’s in now.
After she and I didn’t really talk for a time, we became friends again. She’s plainly stated her current relationship has a shelf life. I’m sure she knows th...
The Lower Brain: Abuse Doesn’t Have To Break You
When I was younger I used to get punished if I couldn’t please my babysitter sexually. I think it qualifies as abuse, but also I learned some things from it that helped me later in life. So maybe it was okay? I don’t know. It still messes me up and affects every single romantic and sexual encounter I’ve ever had. I disassociate just to get through it, so people think I’m distant or cold, but I’m not. Why does it hurt so much still? Am I just broken? – Anon.
Thank you so much for being brave e...
What I Wish I Knew About Money After Graduation
Credit, budgeting, retirement, and more. Author and comedy writer Sara Benincasa reveals all her post-college money life lessons.
We’ve all heard the fairy tale that a college degree is the key to the kingdom, the magical reward that will unlock a world of success. In fact, this is rarely, if ever, true. There are so many things I wish I’d known about money before I graduated school – hell before I even decided to attend a four-year college.
Here are just a few.
Start saving early ...
The Lower Brain: You’re A 30-Year-Old Virgin And That’s OK
I’m not a naturally social person, generally prefer to develop platonic relationships with women, and have a pretty low sex drive. I waited to start dating until I was 24 and didn’t get my first girlfriend until I was 26. That relationship lasted about a year. I’m 29 now and am still a virgin. None of this feels weird to me but I understand it’s not a common story.
I honestly have a pretty good life and I’m grateful for it. But I’d also like to deve...
Krysten Ritter On Playing Jessica Jones, "Who Doesn't Give A Shit About How She Looks"
The February/March 2018 cover story for BUST was a profile of Krysten Ritter, star of Netflix's "Jessica Jones."
Zen And The Art Of Pasta Machine Maintenance
An essay on the saving power of carbohydrates
The Benefits Of Meditating Badly
An essay on the good things that come out of meditation - even when you don't do it all the time.
Sarah Silverman On Trump Voters, The Haters, And Her Dad: BUST Sneak Peek
BUST’s October/November 2017 issue is about to hit newsstands, and we’re excited to announce that our cover star is Sarah Silverman! In the cover story, in which she’s interviewed by Sara Benincasa, Silverman talks about her 25-year career; her new Hulu series, I Love You, America; trying to understand Trump supporters; and the unifying power of shit. Take a sneak peek below, and buy the issue on newsstands beginning this Tuesday, September 26. (Or subscribe!)
On her dad:
Real Artists Have Day Jobs - Sara Benincasa - Paperback
Published April 2016 by William Morrow
“You Girls Having Fun?” - Eater
The story of a date, a creep, and a bar's truly heroic staff.
Jennifer Aniston's fed up, and millions of women know just how she ...
Jennifer Aniston's fed up, and millions of women kn...
Why Am I So Fat? – Medium
A man wrote to me to ask why I gained weight. Here's my response.